I decided to write about Narcissistic Pervert because I have met 1 so far, and he almost managed to make me lose myself. This type of persons must be kept as far as possible from you. They are toxic and can destroy their victim .
NP or manipulative people represent 2 to 3% of the population. A NP is a person with a narcissistic personality disorder. It is a psychopathology based on mental manipulation, allowing a person to exercise control over another one. There are two aspects to this pathology: the narcissistic disorder and perversion. The subject has a demeaning image of himself. Therefore he values himself by lowering others. There is an over need to be admired. The perversion results in the urge to satisfy his own needs and desires at the expense of others.
How to recognize a NP?
At first, he will be charming, seductive, pleasant. He can even seem to be shy. He will be present, a good listener and someone you can count on. However, a weird feeling appears for the victim. Like something isn’t right. But as it usually is a person in deep needs of affection, this impression won’t be considered. Unfortunately. Very quickly, once the relation is established, or once he sees he has power on his victim, he shows his real personality. The mask is taken off. It is the beginning of insignificant comments at the beginning, all negative. These comments will become a routine and will get worse. Insults will come afterwards and it can just go to no limit. Each time the person won’t do things the way he wants it, he’ll get upset and will manage to treat his victim like a piece of shit. And, of course, everything will be her fault.
To have experienced it, it’s horrible. It’s as if the brain was poisoned. As if every time I was going to see him, I threw myself into the lion’s den. Part of me knew I should not go but the other part, under the influence, stronger, ended up taking the lead. It is the physical and mental integrity of the victim who are then in danger.
One could say that everyone is a little manipulative sometimes. But it’s nothing compared to NP. These persons are like a virus. A rot that destroys his victim little by little from the inside. Making her nothing more than an object. And the feeling of being absolutely nothing for the other is destructive. Little by little, we do not know what a normal human relationship is. Being treated as a sub-individual, being told that everything is our fault becomes normal, and this is where it gets dangerous because the victim begins to accept everything he wants from her, lives according to him and loses herself. She’s no longer able to think properly and especially in an independent way.
NP are ties actors, expert in seduction:
For me it resulted in a change of personality. The sweetest at first, turning into the devil. I felt like he had a mask. Sometimes he started crying to make me feel guilty or soften me. But it always felt fake. Especially as he could stopped the tears as easily as he had started them. But I doubt myself so much that I thought it was I who was deceiving him. After a few back and forth, he started with the insults. Insignificant remarks at the beginning, turning into proper insults. Adding to this were all the remarks he could make such as telling me that I was so stupid that I should thank him for his reactions. That his reactions were only due to my attitude. That he reacted like that because he expressed his frustration and he panicked. That’s when I realized also that pushing further this way of thinking would lead to him hitting me. Everything he did was just a game to manipulate me. These people are toxic. I started to use this word because it is the only one which seemed adequate to the feeling I had. And reading various articles on the topic,I realized that this word came back regularly. I was no longer myself. I did not recognize myself. And I wasn’t able to be objective anymore. It was never him. His actions and reactions were all the result of my attitude. Absolutely not questionable. They are in the mechanisms of complete denial. And this attitude makes the other person crazy especially if trying to understand. There is nothing to understand. They do not realize the harm they are doing and have therefore no limits. Trying to understand leads to a huge loss of energy but for nothing in the end. No grown up discussion is possible. Reactions are the one of a 3 years old kid. And it’s what they are. The NP is like stuck in childhood. With the immaturity that goes with it. Add to this the fact that since they are kids they learnt how to manipulate others, they are experts in it. The answers were never clear. Always evasive. If I was acting like him, I was too stupid to answer correctly. If I really answered, it was too long so he did not read the message. And I was not clear. So in any case, I was the problem and he was the poor little victim so nice who tries to help such the complicated person I was. They have a total lack of affect which leads to a total lack of respect for others. The important thing being the satisfaction of their needs at the expense of others. Manipulators do not like anyone. But they play with the others feelings. Ups and downs all the time which is totally destructive for the victim. The only solution to get out of this is to leave. Cut all contact. These people take the energy and soul. They empty their victim by spreading their poison slowly and sneakily. However, being able to leave is not an easy task. This influence they have created leads to fear. Therefore help is normally needed. Either from friends or family or a psychologist, depending on the victim and her/his strength.
According to me, once the person realized that she’s with a NP, she has to force herself to leave ASAP. Not expect any change because they won’t change. These are bad people, fundamentally bad and dangerous, that we must, at all costs, keep as far as possible from us. The risk being to lose ourselves and not being able to come back. Anyone can meet a NP in his life. Nevertheless, people in emotional dependence or lack of self-confidence are very good targets. As well as people who have too much faith in others and who think people are fundamentally good deep down.