Category Archives: Thoughts

What about thinking before buying?

I read a post the other day on Facebook. A mother who picked up her daughter after a kids party, saw her coming back with a small bag full of candies and other thingies that she got during the party. The point she made is so true that I wanted to write about it.

The society we live in is based on consuming. The more the consumption, the more the big firms and even other will make money, which in the end, is what our system works with. We talk about eating organic, about reducing waste, about getting back to simple things in life. But shouldn’t this start with the education we give to our children? As an adult I try to always ask myself if I really need something before buying it. I don’t like to buy clothes unless I actually need some, I try not to waste food by not buying too much, paying attention with the electricity etc… I’m not saying I do it perfectly, no one is perfect. But I think if everyone would become even just a little bit more aware and conscious about the fact that this planet we live on isn’t just our property and that we should take care of it, it could get a lot better. And this would be easier if it would start with the education. I have a niece and nephew. I don’t know what to offer them for Christmas or for their birthdays because they basically have everything. The presents will be fun for 10 min and then, they’ll move on to something else. And if no one makes them realize that all these presents are actually objects that have been produced by some people in another country, often in not the best conditions for them, that they are objects that will take decades to be destroyed once they’ll be thrown away because not used anymore… they will just become another part of this society just consuming but not really enjoying. Couldn’t it be possible for them to enjoy a party for what it actually is? A group of kids, playing together, laughing together with no expectation of getting any present. The problem is that to get to this point, it means that parents actually have to be there and have to play with their kids and have to take the time for this. For sure it takes time. But shouldn’t it be obvious and shouldn’t people think about this and ask themselves if they’re ready to have kids before becoming parents? Shouldn’t they teach their kids their values and these values should maybe be rethought by a good part of the people and make an effort to try to go back to simple things in life? For themselves and for their kids?

I am not saying it is an easy thing to do and I think that even if parents want to teach their kids this kind of values, when the children are at school the whole day and tempted by so many things, it is difficult to say no all the time. But maybe by writing and by saying it, some people will want to make some changes. Small ones, depending on each one’s possibilities… but only then can things change ūüôā

 

Belonging to a group

Why do we have this need of feeling like we belong to a group? ¬†The need of wanting to be different from everyone but all together. Not as individuals, but as a group? Junkies, Hippies, Vegan, High Potential, religious groups… the list could be long! We want to be different but we still need to belong to ¬†a group of people, as if the individual doesn’t have its place in this world.

Belonging to a group means we can’t really think for ourselves. We are not free. Belonging to a group means we do things the same way, we do things together, according to a whole group. With one person deciding for all the others. This doesn’t work for me. A few years ago, I had this need of feeling and knowing that there were other people like me. But I needed this to accept the fact that there was nothing wrong with me and that others work the same way I do. It helped me accept myself for who I really was. I met people from this “community” and started hanging out with them. But after a couple of times, I didn’t feel like going anymore. And accepting myself was also accepting the fact that I am not someone who can belong to a group, and who can stick with the same people all the time. It¬†¬†gives me the feeling that I’m stuck, not free to do whatever it is I want to do, when I want to. I need to have people around me but not too close and not all the time. I am too independent for this. Going for a coffee is fine but then I need to be on my own again.

I tried to understand why people need to belonging to a group. A friend of mine asked me this question the other day. Why this need? We might ¬†be different from most people, our brain might work in a different way. Like the brain of a dyslexic person works another way. But in the end, the most important is to find our place in this society. The place that suits us. No matter what the others think as long as we’re happy. Without this feeling that we need to justify ourselves when we don’t do or think or react the way most people do. Or the way that is said to be “normal”. In the end, who defines what is normal and what isn’t? I agree that with the amount of people on earth, there has to be rules. Human being has the ability to analyze, to react depending on a situation and to think. And to adapt. But when the society tries to create robots, I think the individual thinking is important. And must be protected. But I think people are scared of finding themselves alone, scared of taking decisions for themselves and of taking the tiny path that isn’t the one they’ve been used to. Belonging to a group makes them stronger. Make them more confident. But are they really happy, are they really living the life they want? Or are they trying to convince themselves that they are where they should be?

There is a movie I really like because it really reflect what I think: “Divergent”. I think it gives a pretty good image of our society. Each group doing its tasks, ¬†getting in the line. Not one extra move or thought is allowed. Next to this, there are the people called “divergent”. Who don’t fit in one group.Their mind works differently and therefore they are to be exterminated because they mean trouble. It is extreme, it’s a movie. But the idea behind is what’s happening in our society. If you don’t get in the row, you’re out of the system and there aren’t any solution for you. Unless you adapt yourself or go to war. It took me several years to get to this. I mean to ¬†truly be able to accept myself for who I am, even if I know it means that I don’t fit in this society. With my whole body. To process it. Not to just knowing it mentally. But to actually feel it inside. And¬†I am happy with this.

It might sound harsh but groups can really be the problem. Take the religions for example. I am not going to develop this as it would be another topic but ¬†all these people having the need to believe in something, the need of belonging to a community, makes them sheep. They stop thinking for themselves and listen to just one voice. Which could be a good thing or not, this isn’t the point. But it gives away they freedom. It gives away their ability to actually think as an individual. And problems arrive then because when you belong to a group, the insinuative consequence is that you should do everything with the group. And if you do not respect this rule, you start being put aside. There are of course several levels of the consequences of belonging to a group can bring. But from my point of view, I am happy to be a free mind and to be on my own. Not belonging to any group. It’s the way I want to live my life as it is who I am.

 

Changer l’angle de vue

J’ai regard√© une vid√©o sur Youtube, “Le Pouvoir des Intentions”. Cette vid√©o m’a √©norm√©ment interpell√© car elle dit tout haut ce que je pense tout bas depuis des ann√©es. Et aussi, elle mets des mots sur le chemin que je parcours depuis quelques temps.

Je l’ai mentionn√© dans un pr√©c√©dent article, j’ai fait un burn-out il y a un an et demi maintenant. J’aurai mis le temps, cela n’est pas termin√© mais je commence √† savoir qui je suis et √† √™tre en accord avec moi-m√™me. Ca n’est que le d√©but de ma vraie vie et ces deux derni√®res ann√©es ont √©t√© vraiment tr√®s dures mais je commence √† voir le bout du tunnel. Un ami m’a dit il y a peu qu’il y avait toujours la lumi√®re au bout de ce tunnel. Quand on est dans le noir c’est difficile de se dire que √ßa va s’arr√™ter. On a m√™me envie de tout arr√™ter par moment. Etre seule, dans un pays o√Ļ je me sens chez moi mais qui me donnait l’impression de ne pas vouloir de moi, avoir fait le m√©nage dans mes relations qui √©taient, pour certaines toxiques, quitter mon job. Tout cela m’a fait descendre assez bas mais je vois maintenant que c’√©tait un passage obligatoire pour arriver √† m’en sortir. Et quand je dis “m’en sortir”, je veux dire me sortir de cette personne qui n’√©tait pas moi. Enlever la bride que je m’√©tais laiss√©e mettre¬†depuis des ann√©es par les autres. Pour contenter mes parents, pour entrer dans les cases de la soci√©t√©, pour faire ce que l’on attendait de moi. Je savais que je ne voulais pas √ßa, que je ne rentre pas dans les cases, que je ne veux pas rentrer dans les cases. Je veux √™tre moi. Vivre ma vie. Que cela convienne ou non. Et cela me faisait peur. J’ai donc d√Ľ¬†commencer par m’accepter pour ce que je suis vraiment. Cette √©tape a commenc√© quand j’ai suivi une th√©rapie pendant un an et demi et o√Ļ j’ai appris beaucoup de choses sur moi. Et tout √©volue petit √† petit. J’int√®gre les choses et c’est √ßa qui prend du temps.

La personne que je consid√©rais comme ma meilleure amie jusqu’√† l’ann√©e derni√®re me disait que je n’appliquais pas les m√™mes r√®gles pour moi et les autres. Elle avait raison. Je le savais. Mais je ne voulais pas me l’avouer. Parce que la vrai barri√®re, le vrai blocage pour √™tre heureux est soi-m√™me. Et les mensonges que l’on se raconte pour se voiler la face. Faire tomber ces barri√®res et se regarder vraiment en face est la chose la plus terrifiante qu’il soit je pense. Parce que, deep down, on sait ce que l’on va trouver. Mais √† savoir si l’on est capable de g√©rer ce qui va sortir et de r√©ellement vivre pour soi, c’est une autre question. Et je dirais, une autre √©tape. Il faut laisser le temps au temps. C’est ce que j’ai appris, √† mes d√©pens, mais c’√©tait n√©cessaire. Laisser le temps faire les choses. L√Ęcher prise. Ne pas garder le contr√īle. Ca fait peur, mais √ßa vient petit √† petit.

Pour parler scientifique, le cerveau a un circuit neuronal bien r√īd√©. Les pens√©es, dites automatiques, empruntent le m√™me chemin. Celui qui a √©t√© construit depuis des ann√©es, depuis notre naissance en fonction de notre √©ducation et de tout un tas d’autres facteurs. Changer, se reconnecter avec soi-m√™me implique la cr√©ation de nouveaux chemins. De nouvelles connections neuronales. Et l’on sait maintenant que ces nouvelles connections sont possibles, m√™me √† l’√Ęge adulte. Mais cela demande un effort. Au d√©but, il faudra faire un effort conscient pour forcer la pens√©e √† utiliser un autre chemin. Pour engendrer une autre r√©action ou une autre pens√©e automatique selon l’√©v√©nement d√©clencheur. Puis, petit √† petit, ce nouveau chemin (ou nouvelle connection neuronale) deviendra la route principale et l’ancienne tombera en d√©su√©tude pour ne plus du tout √™tre utilis√©e apr√®s un certain temps. Parvenir √† faire ces changements permettent de changer notre vision des choses. De changer les vibrations que l’on d√©gage et d’attirer d’autres personnes, d’autres r√©ponses. Des r√©ponses en ad√©quation avec la personne que l’on est vraiment.

 

Be part of a change

I did an introduction of 4 days on hypnosis. During these days, images came to my mind, images that I felt safe in, images representing the life I would like to live. But in the end, anyone can live the life he wants. We choose our life. We make choices, all the time. There is always a choice. Even when we think we do not have the choice. We are part of a society that creates robots. A society where everyone needs to have its place and if you don’t fit in it, you’re aside, you don’t have your place. This is more or less how I felt my whole life. Until not that long ago when I realized I had the choice. When I realized I am the only person responsible for what happens to me. And I am the only person who can actually change something in order to be happy.

About a year and a half ago now I’ve been burned out. When this happened, I quit everything. My job, the guy I was with dumped me, I stopped some classes I was taking, I decided I would go in China to get a bachelor in Chinese Medicine… Looking back now, this China idea wasn’t maybe a bad idea. But I also think it was a way of running away. I didn’t know what to do with my life, so I was about to do as I always did, put myself into something and not think or feel if it was the right choice for me or not. Luckily, I got in touch with a wise person who made me realize I was going about to make a mistake. Therefore, I cancelled the China project and stayed in Switzerland. I was in the swiss-german part at this time. I found a job immediately but wasn’t happy in it. Then I had another one, same. I quit last September. It took me a few months to decide that I would move back to the french part of the country as this is where my place is. It’s been now 5 months and I feel better every day. I still don’t really know what to do with my life but at least I found a nice place to live where I will move in about a month. In the nature. A place that suits me. That was one of the first decisions I made while listening to myself. Not trying to rationalize or to overthink the decision. I just did it.

I am still looking for a job as I need the money. This is the part I don’t like because it’s what the society puts you into. However, it’s all again about choices. And I choose to stay in this country. It’s my home. For someone who doesn’t have any roots like me, feeling at home somewhere is a big deal. I don’t want to lose this and I will fight for it. I simply fell in love with this country. It is not an easy country to live in, the people aren’t the most open people on earth but it suits me. The nature is amazing, respect means something for the people (at least most of them) and I feel safe here. All this made me take this decision. So I will find a job, a job that pays the rent, but I will do it in order to get to do what truly makes me happy inside. That’s the way I see it. I will use the system instead of being used by it.

One important thing for me is nature. I want it to be preserved. Creating my own cosmetics is a way of participating. If I can also motivate people to do it or if I can manage to make nice ones so that I can sell them, not in order to make money as I wouldn’t want to sell them at a high price but in order for people to use products that have as minimum impact on the planet as possible. Living in the nature, buying second hand furniture is also what I will be doing. I am not saying that I am going to live back the life our ancestors had! I want to enjoy my life but not in a silly way. Not as a robot being part of this consumption society we’re in. But as a proper person, who makes her own choices, being conscious of the effects it will have. And I truly think that if most of us would do the same, the planet and our civilization wouldn’t be in danger. Because if we keep going this same way, it is not the planet we will destroy, Earth has been there for billions years and it will still be there after us. It is the human civilization we are destroying. And life itself.

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