I did an introduction of 4 days on hypnosis. During these days, images came to my mind, images that I felt safe in, images representing the life I would like to live. But in the end, anyone can live the life he wants. We choose our life. We make choices, all the time. There is always a choice. Even when we think we do not have the choice. We are part of a society that creates robots. A society where everyone needs to have its place and if you don’t fit in it, you’re aside, you don’t have your place. This is more or less how I felt my whole life. Until not that long ago when I realized I had the choice. When I realized I am the only person responsible for what happens to me. And I am the only person who can actually change something in order to be happy.
About a year and a half ago now I’ve been burned out. When this happened, I quit everything. My job, the guy I was with dumped me, I stopped some classes I was taking, I decided I would go in China to get a bachelor in Chinese Medicine… Looking back now, this China idea wasn’t maybe a bad idea. But I also think it was a way of running away. I didn’t know what to do with my life, so I was about to do as I always did, put myself into something and not think or feel if it was the right choice for me or not. Luckily, I got in touch with a wise person who made me realize I was going about to make a mistake. Therefore, I cancelled the China project and stayed in Switzerland. I was in the swiss-german part at this time. I found a job immediately but wasn’t happy in it. Then I had another one, same. I quit last September. It took me a few months to decide that I would move back to the french part of the country as this is where my place is. It’s been now 5 months and I feel better every day. I still don’t really know what to do with my life but at least I found a nice place to live where I will move in about a month. In the nature. A place that suits me. That was one of the first decisions I made while listening to myself. Not trying to rationalize or to overthink the decision. I just did it.
I am still looking for a job as I need the money. This is the part I don’t like because it’s what the society puts you into. However, it’s all again about choices. And I choose to stay in this country. It’s my home. For someone who doesn’t have any roots like me, feeling at home somewhere is a big deal. I don’t want to lose this and I will fight for it. I simply fell in love with this country. It is not an easy country to live in, the people aren’t the most open people on earth but it suits me. The nature is amazing, respect means something for the people (at least most of them) and I feel safe here. All this made me take this decision. So I will find a job, a job that pays the rent, but I will do it in order to get to do what truly makes me happy inside. That’s the way I see it. I will use the system instead of being used by it.
One important thing for me is nature. I want it to be preserved. Creating my own cosmetics is a way of participating. If I can also motivate people to do it or if I can manage to make nice ones so that I can sell them, not in order to make money as I wouldn’t want to sell them at a high price but in order for people to use products that have as minimum impact on the planet as possible. Living in the nature, buying second hand furniture is also what I will be doing. I am not saying that I am going to live back the life our ancestors had! I want to enjoy my life but not in a silly way. Not as a robot being part of this consumption society we’re in. But as a proper person, who makes her own choices, being conscious of the effects it will have. And I truly think that if most of us would do the same, the planet and our civilization wouldn’t be in danger. Because if we keep going this same way, it is not the planet we will destroy, Earth has been there for billions years and it will still be there after us. It is the human civilization we are destroying. And life itself.